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Skiy
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Name: Jeana
Interests: orange. red. blue. silver. black. Kyo. Haru. Friends (:
Expertise: falling asleep anywhere. anytime. especially in class.
procrastinating.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/29/2004
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| So...you know when you've fallen for someone when you can't wait to see them, or when it takes more than a few minutes to answer a text, you get impatient and wonder if something was wrong, right? Or...is it just impatience? You're not exactly the best person...but hey, a beggar can't pick and choose. What of the other one? Is it wrong that I wonder what might've been? The other makes me work and think to be around, that's why I like it so much. Plus it's still fun. You, you're just...chill. And a sweet talker. I'm a sucker for sweet talk. Oh wait, and you're from Cali. Damn. What's happening? I can't tell if it's good or bad. I want to see you. Desperately. But I'm not where you are. I'm with a friend at her house, and you're with your buddy's family vacationing. It's bothersome when it takes you ten, twenty minutes to respond to my text. Yes, I'm impatient. And clingy. And overly jealous. And selfish. I want you all to myself. God. What an ugly side to set loose. I was happy to wake up to a text from you. Text back, fall asleep. Find another text sent like, 6 or 10 minutes later, only to respond to it like 30 or 50 minutes later because I fell asleep again. Text tag, for the next...4 hours. Then...they just stop coming. Okay. Fine. Geez. I'm being a bitch again. But what is this? It doesn't feel like the last one did. And I honestly loved the last one. And still miss him. But, I don't know. It may seem like, I don't care, but I do. Or...is it the other way around? I waited for you. Waited for 9 minutes before you got up and came out after I ask multiple times. I had to see you before leaving for five days. I wanted to see you, couldn't bear the thought of not seeing you, not sleeping with you at night. Hah...I can't remember the last time I slept alone for 5 nights in a row. Sad, isn't it? It must have been in September. Well, that's not that long ago. It just seems like it. It seems like a lot has happened, but it hasn't. Oh, and then. This other guy from my class in the morning says that he'll take me out to one of his parties. But I can't tell my boy, "what happens off campus, stays off campus right?  " quoted text. And he's like, twenty something. >.>; And I'd have to ride on the back of his bike. He was also like, I can help you find something to wear for Halloween. "Are you gonna dress up too?" "No, i like to watch the sexy ladies do their thang" Uh...sorry. No, I don't really want to go with you anymore. I thought it was just pity cuz I was all like, I never get to go off campus, it's so boring. blah blah blah. But honestly, I'm kinda scared. Scared. Oh god. What am I getting myself into? I feel so...dirty. I don't know. I just want to spend the night with my boy. Weird. Saying it like that. Hearing him say "my girl" made me happy. Grin like a fool. "I'm dropping off my girl" Did you mean it that way? Am I going to be spending a lot of time in the city over break, or can you come out and see me? A little flame inside was lit and burned brightly. But, is it true? Why do I doubt so much? Am I just a whim you know will come to you? You know, your "bros", am I just a girl on campus? When you're with me, you're "downstairs." I don't have a name to Beau and Tim? I'm with Jeana? No. Just...downstairs. Okay. Mixed messages. Just like the beginning. Yo no se. Wakaranai. I don't know what to think anymore. I feel like a fickle girl whose feelings go with whomever is paying attention to her. God. I don't want to be that kind of person. Oh. And I love my roommate yes, but I swear to God she has anger management issues. Sometimes. And a slight superiority complex about how her stuff is always the best. No contest. I guess everyone needs something to brag about. I bet I annoy the hell out of her by always being late and complaining about just about everything. 8:1. She's so focused on that ratio. -sighs- Yeah. Whatever. And I feel like a bitch for saying this. Yay. While sitting on her couch, freeloading at her house for the weekend. Awesome. I dont' think I've ever spent so many days in a row waking up at 11 or 12. Howl-O-Scream was awesome (: It was def scary. And roller coasters? No, they don't scare me, but haunts do. So...uh, new favorite rollercoaster. Sheikra. :D Busch Gardens. 200 foot vertical drop after a 5 second hang off the edge. Fucking awesome. And then another huge drop later. Shit. It was so worth the 45 minute wait by myself because no one wanted to go on it with me. Hell yeah. Not scared of this shit. Just thrilled as fuck. Hella awesome. This rant is done. Finito. Fin. Ja mata.
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| so since i can't focus on my essay, i'm just gonna ramble on in here. my essay is about mercury cars and the point of the ad is this: if you buy this car, new doors will open up in your life and make it all better and nice and happy. how does it show this? through subliminal messages, of course. and what other than, doors. that's right. simple, ordinary, everyday doors that one passes by without a second thought throughout the course of a day. how is the reader supposed to know that this car will take you out and give you a better life? well, "behind every door, there's another discovery" the ad is playing on human emotion. it could be saying that, A) you haven't discovered everything in life yet, come, your adventurous side is waiting B) you need to get a life, get off your bum, out of your old car, and into this new one because, honey, it's going to take you places you didn't even know existed. SUBA) your adventurous side could always use another discovery, give it a go. SUBA2) what can you discover if you keep on looking? If you keep opening doors, where will it take you? SUBA3) who gets tired of discovering stuff? new discoveries can say something about being younger. young kids are usually the ones who go out and actually look for stuff to do and stuff like that. SUBA4)
"Mercury New Doors Opened" so what? well new doors mean new opportunities. new opportunities mean new life. new life means better and more awesome. a new you can happen. a new you can be "discovered' through the open door. a change for the better. these ordinary doors have always been there, whether right in front of your face like a package slot or the front door, or doors you might pass without a second thought like a chain link fence or the laundry machine door. if these ordinary doors open with "new discoveries" behind them, what can extraordinary doors bring? if what these ordinary doors have is amazing, what else can be found through other doors exactly the same around the world? since these doors have always been here, what are you waiting for? buy the damn car and discover the fucking world.
the makers of the ad made the ad pretty colorful. maybe it's sending a subliminal message that since the doors themselves are colored, what's behind them will make your life more colorful and happy and less dull than it is at the moment. more colors = more discoveries = more life. what makes life more exciting is usually the color in it. "color your life", colors represent emotion, change, passion. color represents excitement. vivid colors are viewed as a strong moment in life, so if this is a strong vividly colored door, then it must have a great life changing discovery behind it.
there are many doors, and they're all pretty different. therefore there are many discoveries to be made, and they will all be different if you take the bull by the horns, buy the car, and go make them.
alright. and then once i finished the damn essay, i sleep at 4:30, wake up at 8:30 and arrive promptly late to my first class in the morning. awesome. well this actually helped, so i guess i won't complain too much. but still. ughhhhhh i hate writing essays
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| College. Florida. Humidity. Boys. Roommates. Suitemates [not really though, she's the RA]. New friends. New environment. [Barely] Edible food. Beaches. Rocket Shuttle Launches. Cheerleaders. Boys. Drugs. Sex. Alcohol. Fire alarms. Freedom [maybe]. Dorms. Laundry. Craziness, right? Wait, I forgot something. Classes. Professors. Stalkers. Questionable people. Confusion. Longing. Missing. Phones. Beaches. Amazing clouds. Rain. Storms. Lightning and thunder. College in a nutshell.
Not really. Well. They all do happen. But seriously...it's only been one week. Of classes that is. And I'm not gonna lie, I'm very confused, kinda lost, and still having some fun. Daytona Beach, Florida. Pilot School. 84% Male. Late night texting and early morning calls. Invitations to the beach and out. Staying over until 3 am. Making out. Not fitting in. Do people really change when going off to college? Was it just a spur of the moment type of thing? Caught in the passion, late at night. Who are you? What do I mean to you? I'd love to know. I miss home. I miss you. I miss Chewie. I miss California weather. I miss decent food that I could make myself whenever I was hungry. I miss Asian food. Lol, what a concept. Missing food from home. I think I'm living off of bagels and Chik-Fil-A now. Yum. /sarcasm. Cute boys? A few. But who wants to be that type of girl? Just living life. Trying not to get stuck anywhere, but in the process shutting myself out of other things. Dandy. It's a cycle. Sacrifice. Give up one thing to protect another. I live in a world of sarcasm and narcissism. Don't quite fit in. Don't quite stand out. Just another Asian in a pool of Koreans. Yay. Sidenote: I like Koreans. Don't get me wrong, they're wonderful, nice people, at least some of them are. I'm just not one of them. Worrying too much about the ratio. Just gotta let it cool down. Why should anyone care or be worrying? Hell. We've got four years. And after that. The rest of our fucking lives. But the crucial first week. Where everyone settles down into their "groups" and then it's even harder to fit in. This always happens. Always.
What happened this first week? Classes. Flying. Oh my foxtrot. It was so amaaaaazing. Getting to fly up in the clouds was uplifting. No feet on the ground. The feeling I love the most. That's why flipping was so much fun. Beam was a challenge, you're on the ground, but not really. You're up in the air. Bars, I don't know what went wrong. But the little planes are so awesome for that experience. We went to the beach (: Made some friends. Got woken up by a fire alarm at 2 am after passing out at around midnight. First time going to bed before midnight too. Wow. Good timing with that text. "Hey. R u still awake?" Yeah, right after the fire alarm went off. I'm awake. I'm awake. Pissed, but awake. Thanks for texting me. But I do wonder. Why me? Do I seem like I'm going to be awake for the hell of it? Wait. Don't answer that question. Then Britt called (: I miss you girl and our Japan crew. Went outside again to talk. Didn't wanna wake up the roomie. She has so much trouble falling asleep, I feel bad for being kinda narcoleptic. Met a couple of cute guys. One being from the city back at home. Sporting a NorCal shirt. Hell yeah. And his friend. A stoner. Why don't I go out at night on a weekend? Well, let's just say I'm stuck on campus and can't leave without asking for a ride. But then I'd feel bad. So I don't ask. I don't get off campus. Yay. I'm a loser. But I have sparkly pants LOL. Why is this so hard? Usually it all just comes out. Guess I'm growing out of posting my life to the intarwebs haha. About time, right? Damn. Speaking of online life, I miss maple. Stupid macs. I should just by like, a netbook for 2something and run MS off of it. lawls. That'll be a good one. I miss you guys. Everyone. I hope everyone is having a good rest of the summer/start of school/life. I'm done.
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| I guess this is the "later". (: But what can I write about that would sound...I dunno...something. Hopefully this will take a million bajillion pages where I can just let loose all of my feelings and omg's and worries, but of course, it never actually works like that. It'll end up being a lot of paragraphs instead (maybe) and be a rant that would be useless to read. Yeah...
So...it's been...oh, two and a half weeks since we've graduated from Northgate. Three on thursday. We finally finished those "best four years of our lives." The final months at Northgate seemed to speed by. Senior year was going by so slow until January, when they introduced the Senior Project. Then everything just seemed to snowball downhill. Majorly, downhill. We had to pick what project, pick the paper topic, write a letter of intent, write a million rough drafts, turn in the final paper, do the project simultaneously, finish the project, produce a final product of the final product somehow, present the paper and project flawlessly in front of a panel of judges, take finals, turn in all the projects that teachers decide will turn your grade into the one you want, or bump your stress levels up 10 times higher trying to fix so it's acceptable, get grades, get yearbooks signed, do a million more projects, and get out of school alive. I guess you can throw gymnastics into that lovely run on list trying to be a sentence until around....April. Or...the end of March even. The projects, holy foxcrap. The paper was hard enough. But then, actually cleaning my room was even harder! And thennn, we had to present our Senior Presentation and Level 2 Certs were right in the middle. Speaking of Sports Med, I'm glad I'm done. Honestly, that class helped show that I don't want to go into that field. Don't get me wrong, it was an amazing class that I loved; I just think that I couldn't handle anymore. I was supposed to go to gym three times a week but I had to make up so much coverage for 3rd quarter that I ended up just stopping. Not going. Oh. And I haven't gotten my Level One OR Two Certificates yet. Neither of them. Well...isn't that just dandy?
Senior Ball came...and went. All too quickly. Honestly, best night of my life. Then the morning after sucked, because you had to leave. But we keep it alive, don't we? All of my girlies looked gooorgeousss in their beautiful dresses and the guys were just as spiffy in their suits/tuxes. Hot. Really. Everyone. Best. Night. Ever. Evarr.
After that, the last one and a half weeks of school just flew by. Graduation announcements sent, Graduation came, Graduation went. Of course, our class effed up on something during the ceremony. (: but what can be done about that? It's NG09. At least it was at the very end. And let's face it, Brett and Georg's speeches were both aweome. And the Beach Balls, a little out of hand. But, tortillas? Never seen em before, but hey. They made things a little more interesting. Okay, a lot. It was funny. But Graduation continued smoothly, even with our little....big slipup at the end. Afterwards, a massive load of pictures to take. Then...off to Grad Night. It was fun. Really. Random, and kind of boring, but at least it was fun.
I just hung out a lot after school I guess. I don't think I've ever had this much free time before. It's kinda crazy. Movies, driving, places....shopping (: I Just got back today from the Lair. The "Lair of the Golden Bear" with all the Cal Alum, ranging from 80 to 2 years of age. The teen directors were def chosen for their faces and personalities. Cody reminded me of an older Maddie Montgomery. No joke. Eliot. haha. He was cool. I don't think I've ever gotten that much sun since I was 10 either. It's weird being dark. haha whatevs. We did some stuff....saw Transformers 2. xD Amazing. (: The teen dance sucked. I'm not gonna lie. like 7/8's of the people were either drunk or high. And it was like, a bunch of 13, 14, and 15year olds dancing..awkward. Made me wanna go clubbing again with Shelley and Fiona. Shelley's friends were pretty cute (; Lol. But I would never ever. evar. We got to spraypaint the lodge again. That was pretty sweet. The Lair...there was stuff to do, but at the same time, not. A group of the girls were just superficial and just...shallow. It was actually really embarrasing and sucky, but.....yeah. Someone tries to fit in for 8 years, but she wasn't accepted untli they were all drunk. Including her best friend. But whatever. Over and done with. I'm back from the Lair, but I leave again in 4 days. Crap. We spraypainted Tee's too. Hella Norcal bitchesss. and we tie-dyed. [x that was fun. My shirt looks pretty cool.
I'm halfway excited for Japan. I really wanna go. But at the same time, I really want to go to AX and I'm really mad that I'm not going. I really wanted to go for A) You. B) AX. It's been almost a month. ily. My host families both sound really awesome. (: And..that's my rant for now...
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| so i've been meaning to write in this for awhile...just never got around to it. xD and....uh. i'll do the big long one some other time...maybe later. xD I just wanted to remember this quote and i'd rather not stick it in my fb cuz it's rather cheesy. okay. really. cheeeeese. "Love is life's greatest event, the one worth living for." From the first chapter of Bakuman. [x hahaha. yeahh. okay. just got back after a week from the Lair. fun, but no cell service. damn. lol. yeah. lates | | |
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